I have often noticed that my kids behavior tends to mimic those of animals as much as they do kids. This is not to say that my kids have bad behavior, in fact when we are away from home we get nothing but compliments. We must be doing something right. But we can't help but notice that sometimes they sound like squirrels when the are laughing or chattering with each other. And sometimes they seem to act more like monkeys at the zoo when the get wound up. But when it comes to fruit, my kids are like fruit bats.
My sister's crew consists of a family of 4. 2 grown ups, a 2 yr. old and 5 yr. old. When she goes to the store they buy fruits and veggies by the number of items they need mostly. 5 carrots or 4 bananas, etc. When we go to the store we measure fruit in kilos, (2.2 1bs. to 1 kilo). And even if we buy 2 kilos of apples, a kilo of Clementinas and so on, there is never enough fruits and veggies in our house. This extends to carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes as well.
The advantage to this is that we have discovered that people LOVE to bring our kids fruit because the kids actually get excited about it. Not to say the kids won't eat nosh when offered, but fruit is equally as good. This happened again last night when we had friends drop in. We got a call from our friends saying that they were at the store next door. "What do your kids eat fruit wise?" (They already know our kids can't 3/4 of the junk out there.) My answer, "let me tell you what they don't eat,it will be faster." I was taken aback by the amount of fruit that walk through our door last night and when I asked what the occasion was, the answer was " I love buying fruit for you kids, because they love it!" This is something we have heard over and over again from different people. We have a few friends that are between kids now, meaning, their kids are grown and no grand kids in sight. They get a kick out of playing with our very imaginative kids and when they come they love bringing them fruit because the kids consider it a treat. I seem to take for granted the fact that from about birth my kids have always loved fruit, because I hear from so many people the problems they have with their kids not eating it. For the most part we do OK with veggies too except for S. His idea of veggies are carrots, corn and french fries. But to give him credit he keeps trying to like them. Last week he asked for salad which was a shock! He did not eat the lettuce, but he did eat some of the other stuff and that's pretty good. I am impressed by his maturity.
Anyway, I guess my point is that I am often chagrined at the number of people who appreciate my kids healthy eating habits. Which I guess makes me wonder, what is the rest of the world eating?! Yikes.
And as a side note, I always thought I would have pets over kids, now I see I have a compromise. My kids have the inclination to be monkeys, squirrels,bears, and there was a temporary thing with pretending one was a dog that the others would "take for a walk and feed"...So now I realize I have a whole zoo plus kids and they all come in one complete package! Kids are truly an amazing creation of G-d, what would we do with out them!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
6 Years and Counting!
This week marks our 6th anniversary in Israel. I don't use a particular day in general because our journey began on the night of Dec. 25 when we left Portland, Oregon. It was beginning of a 4 day trip with 2 full days in New York in between. Leaving was hard, we left the night of my mom's 60th birthday and when we made the reservations I forgot to figure in travel and pre-check in time, so we missed most of her party. That has always been a big regret and was a huge mistake on our part. D, S (who was one yr. at the time), and I left with 2 suitcases and a carry on each and that was all we brought to Israel. No lift would be coming after us as that plan got canceled at the last minute. We arrived in Israel on Dec. 28, 2004, our official aliyah date, around 6:00am I think; and we spent our first New Year's Eve with friends already living here.
Rosh Hashana is supposed to be our time of reflection, what we are doing right, what we need to improve upon. However, while I do use Rosh Hashana for my personal transgressions, December is my time of reflection about my life. It marks the separation from my family which difficult for all of us and it also marks each passing year that I become more ingrained into Israeli society.
Having been here 6 years I look around and wonder have I "successfully" integrated into Israeli society or I am an outsider looking in? Are my kids Israeli or are they hanging onto the culture of their American parents? Each day I have a different answer and it is a question I have been thinking about this month a lot. It is a thought that truly weighs on me every year and each year I think about it more and more.
When I think about 6 years ago, we lived in an immigrant apartment that was 2 rooms (bigger than what we left behind) but truly spartan. We had sleeping bags, but no blankets or sheets, not even plates or pots I think...I spoke NO Hebrew save about 10 words, I could recognize letters, but not really read them. We had one child who was a year old. We had NO clue how to get health care, pay bills, travel around the country, get a job, heck we barely knew how to connect with the outside world or even go shopping.
Now I look at our family and we are 5 not 3, our oldest is seven and we have twins that are 4 & 1/2. We had them at home with a doctor in attendance (our choice and much to the horror of our entire neighborhood, this is UNHEARD of in Israel, or mostly). We have a very spacious 4 bedroom apartment. We can pay our bills, we now live in a different community where we have been for almost 3 years. I am still behind the curve in Hebrew, but I can read and I can communicate. Not to say I wont switch to English 9 times out of 10 if the option is available. So maybe I am not bi-lingual in a fluent sense, but each year I make progress. Our kids are in school and doing pretty well. They have some issues, but I suspect they may have had them in America too. But I believe that they are more Israeli than American and I am glad. We have friends, we go places and do things when we can afford it and in a lot of ways we can see where we have become Israeli and left our American mentality behind. I now work from home and D keeps busy with free lance writing and learning Torah and dispensing copious amounts of bike and computer advice as well as a few other things. We still rely on a lot of things from America, such as shoes.... I love Bass (thank you mom for sending me two brand new pairs of Bass Weejuns!!!! I LOVE THEM and You TOO!) and my husband and the boys have wide feet. We have a hard time shopping for them here. Plus candy and snacks, and a few other things that are cheaper to get there than here. But over all I think we have come a long way.
Most people label "success" as whether or not we are financially secure. In that regard, I suppose we are considered failures. We live on a very tight budget and we rent, we don't own our apartment. But I have come to disagree with that assessment. Given our background and my husband's injuries from being a fire fighter we would probably be in pretty much the same circumstances. I can't imagine being able to work full time away from home any more than I can now, child care would be too expensive. The cost of Jewish education would be around $3,000 a month, not $300. Not to mention the socialized medical care here is much cheaper here and we get amazing medical care. The list goes on. We have figured costs on paper and it just is not practical for us to move to America. We know people who have moved back because they were in the medical field or sciences and for them I see it. They DO make more in America. And I guess with my current job I could make more, but not enough to make it worth our while to move back.
Had it just been us, I don't know if I would stay during those times when the going gets tough. But when it is just two people it is easy to try new things, to move to new places. However, with kids, as everyone knows, it is not that easy. Mostly for all the reasons above, but also simply because no matter how much the kids may sound or act American, they are Israeli and it would be an adjustment for them to move to America. Not only the mix of cultures and religions, but the fact that there would be no traveling about the country and still be able to go out to eat or to walk into a store and just buy something. My kids know a thing or two about other cultures and people. We read National Geographic and we talk about our non-Jewish friends and so on, but to live it would be another deal altogether.
I suppose the other thing that makes it easier on us, is that we did not leave high paying jobs behind. My husband was in the middle of going back to school and I was working part-time and trying to juggle a new baby. So the financial draw for us to come back is not big.
For us it is the family and friends. Or at least for me. My husband's parents come twice a year and he has never been close to his sister. So this arrangement works well for him. For me however, it is a challenge and a half. I come from a very close knit family and it is hard to know that I missing out on my nephews and my friends children growing up too. We have missed, births, weddings, serious illnesses and other times of happiness and challenges. I miss those things. Plus I miss watching Duck Football! We have no T.V. here, which I don't mind, except for about 3 months out of the year during football season. Although who am I kidding, I could never stay up to watch the games, I would be asleep in the first quarter....
It is a general consensus that it takes about 10 years to fully integrate into Israeli society. I don't know where we will be in another 4 years. But from the perspective of someone who has been here for 0-2 years, we are wise old owls. Compared to those who have been here 10 years or more, we are still on the green side and it will take more time to get settled; so no rush and no worries. And as for Israelis, a lot of them thought we should have known what was flying and how to speak the language the minute we got off the plane. I can't really blame them. I remember running into non-English speakers in America and it was really hard to be non-judgmental about their lack of English. G-d has a way of making us pay for judging other people's short comings....
So I guess over all, I feel like we are holding our own here and that in the coming year, experiences can only give us more wisdom not less. Even the pit falls here are an opportunity to learn..... I will be curious to see where we are in another year, but for now I will just take it as it comes. One day at a time.
Rosh Hashana is supposed to be our time of reflection, what we are doing right, what we need to improve upon. However, while I do use Rosh Hashana for my personal transgressions, December is my time of reflection about my life. It marks the separation from my family which difficult for all of us and it also marks each passing year that I become more ingrained into Israeli society.
Having been here 6 years I look around and wonder have I "successfully" integrated into Israeli society or I am an outsider looking in? Are my kids Israeli or are they hanging onto the culture of their American parents? Each day I have a different answer and it is a question I have been thinking about this month a lot. It is a thought that truly weighs on me every year and each year I think about it more and more.
When I think about 6 years ago, we lived in an immigrant apartment that was 2 rooms (bigger than what we left behind) but truly spartan. We had sleeping bags, but no blankets or sheets, not even plates or pots I think...I spoke NO Hebrew save about 10 words, I could recognize letters, but not really read them. We had one child who was a year old. We had NO clue how to get health care, pay bills, travel around the country, get a job, heck we barely knew how to connect with the outside world or even go shopping.
Now I look at our family and we are 5 not 3, our oldest is seven and we have twins that are 4 & 1/2. We had them at home with a doctor in attendance (our choice and much to the horror of our entire neighborhood, this is UNHEARD of in Israel, or mostly). We have a very spacious 4 bedroom apartment. We can pay our bills, we now live in a different community where we have been for almost 3 years. I am still behind the curve in Hebrew, but I can read and I can communicate. Not to say I wont switch to English 9 times out of 10 if the option is available. So maybe I am not bi-lingual in a fluent sense, but each year I make progress. Our kids are in school and doing pretty well. They have some issues, but I suspect they may have had them in America too. But I believe that they are more Israeli than American and I am glad. We have friends, we go places and do things when we can afford it and in a lot of ways we can see where we have become Israeli and left our American mentality behind. I now work from home and D keeps busy with free lance writing and learning Torah and dispensing copious amounts of bike and computer advice as well as a few other things. We still rely on a lot of things from America, such as shoes.... I love Bass (thank you mom for sending me two brand new pairs of Bass Weejuns!!!! I LOVE THEM and You TOO!) and my husband and the boys have wide feet. We have a hard time shopping for them here. Plus candy and snacks, and a few other things that are cheaper to get there than here. But over all I think we have come a long way.
Most people label "success" as whether or not we are financially secure. In that regard, I suppose we are considered failures. We live on a very tight budget and we rent, we don't own our apartment. But I have come to disagree with that assessment. Given our background and my husband's injuries from being a fire fighter we would probably be in pretty much the same circumstances. I can't imagine being able to work full time away from home any more than I can now, child care would be too expensive. The cost of Jewish education would be around $3,000 a month, not $300. Not to mention the socialized medical care here is much cheaper here and we get amazing medical care. The list goes on. We have figured costs on paper and it just is not practical for us to move to America. We know people who have moved back because they were in the medical field or sciences and for them I see it. They DO make more in America. And I guess with my current job I could make more, but not enough to make it worth our while to move back.
Had it just been us, I don't know if I would stay during those times when the going gets tough. But when it is just two people it is easy to try new things, to move to new places. However, with kids, as everyone knows, it is not that easy. Mostly for all the reasons above, but also simply because no matter how much the kids may sound or act American, they are Israeli and it would be an adjustment for them to move to America. Not only the mix of cultures and religions, but the fact that there would be no traveling about the country and still be able to go out to eat or to walk into a store and just buy something. My kids know a thing or two about other cultures and people. We read National Geographic and we talk about our non-Jewish friends and so on, but to live it would be another deal altogether.
I suppose the other thing that makes it easier on us, is that we did not leave high paying jobs behind. My husband was in the middle of going back to school and I was working part-time and trying to juggle a new baby. So the financial draw for us to come back is not big.
For us it is the family and friends. Or at least for me. My husband's parents come twice a year and he has never been close to his sister. So this arrangement works well for him. For me however, it is a challenge and a half. I come from a very close knit family and it is hard to know that I missing out on my nephews and my friends children growing up too. We have missed, births, weddings, serious illnesses and other times of happiness and challenges. I miss those things. Plus I miss watching Duck Football! We have no T.V. here, which I don't mind, except for about 3 months out of the year during football season. Although who am I kidding, I could never stay up to watch the games, I would be asleep in the first quarter....
It is a general consensus that it takes about 10 years to fully integrate into Israeli society. I don't know where we will be in another 4 years. But from the perspective of someone who has been here for 0-2 years, we are wise old owls. Compared to those who have been here 10 years or more, we are still on the green side and it will take more time to get settled; so no rush and no worries. And as for Israelis, a lot of them thought we should have known what was flying and how to speak the language the minute we got off the plane. I can't really blame them. I remember running into non-English speakers in America and it was really hard to be non-judgmental about their lack of English. G-d has a way of making us pay for judging other people's short comings....
So I guess over all, I feel like we are holding our own here and that in the coming year, experiences can only give us more wisdom not less. Even the pit falls here are an opportunity to learn..... I will be curious to see where we are in another year, but for now I will just take it as it comes. One day at a time.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Party of the Year!
Well at least here. S turned 7 on the Dec. 9 and has been seriously campaigning for a birthday party. I of course tried to put this off. Being as we celebrate Hebrew and English dates, I started procrastinating on Nov. 21 Or the 14th of Kislev and finally on Dec. 9 I had not choice but to follow through. So on Thursday morning, Dec. 9, I agreed to see if we could pull off a birthday party that afternoon; because I had said we would do something during Channukah and that was the last day! Yikes!
After trying to juggle work and other mommy duties in the morning I took M (who was on vacation) to pick up Y and went to buy party favors for 8 kids, 5 of whom I had no idea if they could even come. Party favors were balloons, markers and little baggies to put it all in. Total cost, $5.50. Then it was home to guest proof and clean the house and make the phone calls. All 5 guests were able to come. Wow! Now we had 4 Hebrew only speaking kids coming, one new American with questionable Hebrew and my 3 with fair Hebrew skills but that can clam up with new faces. We had only met 2 of the kids. The others I knew their parents, but wanted to get them introduced to my kids. I thought this was for sure going to be disaster in the making... And I spent most of the afternoon wondering "What WAS I thinking when I agreed to this?! I must be crazy!" And of course that is true. But at about 5;15p we had our first guests arrive with their mom and shortly there after everyone one else.
The pens and balloons turned out to be great ice breakers and the gift from S's really good friend. He got S a remote control car. To see 5 boys stand around from all different backgrounds, discussing this car and what to do and how it worked was priceless. They looked like a bunch of teenagers around a real car. They all got to "drive" the car and made sure everyone had a turn. To see 5 boys just click like that when 1 kid knew NO ONE and two brothers only knew their mom and each other was just amazing! We also played a round of musical chairs which was fun because it was a new game for all the boys. My kids played it for the first time last year and the twins were really not into it then, so it was also more or less new to them as well.
For refreshments we had a homemade volcano cake which was a huge hit, complete with pink lava, and popcorn and juice. We rounded out the setting with a plastic Thomas Table cloth thanks to Grandma A. The total cost of the party was probably $10 total. The result, the best party ever! According to 8 kids in Israel. There is a statement we all know that says "fill in blank, is priceless, for everything else there is Visa." Pffftttt....... forget Visa. Its not visa that makes everything else possible, it is mommy ingenuity and Abba know how! And we do it all with out charging interest!
Suffice to say I am still beside myself with how well it went over. Of course now I will be required to do this again in 6 mo. for the twins. They have really only had one proper party when they turned 3 because of different circumstances. Fortunately it kind of has gotten by them. Years one and two are really blurry for them thankfully (because they are for us!) and the year they turned 4 Shmuely had not had a party either. This year they will remember however, soooo I guess in 6 months I will be putting my thinking cap on again. Hopefully a bit earlier.
In retrospect, I find that the things we either do on the cheap or on the fly seem to go over really well. Its a gift and a curse I think. A gift because we have pulled off the impossible more than once doing it this way; and a curse because just imagine what we could do and do it stress free if we planned ahead! Kind of like the kid who does OK in school but would be straight A's if only they would "Apply" themselves. I guess some of us are just lacking that "skill" set.
In the same line of thinking, for S's b-day D and I made him a stuffed dinosaur. We took an old flannel blue pillow case and I "drew" a dinosaur on it and D cut it out and sewed and stuffed it. It is probably the homeliest dinosaur ever, but really cute and he is S's new best buddy. His name is Elazar and he has his own bed and his own toys. The kids love stuffed animals, but this is the first one to get a real name and the royal treatment. Except maybe M's bunny foo. But Bunny Foo is a story for another day. Anyhow, Elazar is a kick and it is just totally cute to see S love this little guy soo much! Once again Eema and Abba ingenuity beat Visa any day of the week!
What we have discovered is, it is not the amount of money, it is the thought and follow through combined with a little creativity. Not only does it break the stereo type trap, but it also gets compliments. In Israel and maybe the U.S., the answer for treats and party favors are sacks of junk food. Whether it is bought as pre-done party gift packs or sandwich bags with 3 different kinds of candy. The two major problems with this are A) My kids are allergic to additives and preservatives. Seriously. Grocery shopping is just a joy.... and B) Its expensive and once its eaten, its gone. All that remains are hyper active bored kids. What kind of stupid combination is that?! I love non-food because it is useful. The pens and balloons were great ice breakers and we got to see everyone's talent. For M's Channukah party this year I did popcorn in sandwich bags with little hair bands to close the bag. It puts a spin on something that might seem boring and its practical. Part of the reason for this choice of treat is the fact that mine can't have processed food and another girl has Celia-cs. It eliminated my usual choice of pretzels. Plus M just switched schools and we now have 9 girls, not 33. So total cost, about $2.00 tops. But I have done larger projects for 33 girls too on about $5.00.(With that one I MADE little books from old wrapping paper, computer paper and ribbon, then took a little candy and crayon and combined it with a hair band. It took 6 hours, but M was the bell of the ball that day!) Thanks to the universal love of cheap "stuff" most party favors can be put together for just a few dollars and have the parents come out rock stars at the same time. And for us that's the name of the game! But the nicest thing is, our kids really appreciate too. And perhaps that's the best part of all.
After trying to juggle work and other mommy duties in the morning I took M (who was on vacation) to pick up Y and went to buy party favors for 8 kids, 5 of whom I had no idea if they could even come. Party favors were balloons, markers and little baggies to put it all in. Total cost, $5.50. Then it was home to guest proof and clean the house and make the phone calls. All 5 guests were able to come. Wow! Now we had 4 Hebrew only speaking kids coming, one new American with questionable Hebrew and my 3 with fair Hebrew skills but that can clam up with new faces. We had only met 2 of the kids. The others I knew their parents, but wanted to get them introduced to my kids. I thought this was for sure going to be disaster in the making... And I spent most of the afternoon wondering "What WAS I thinking when I agreed to this?! I must be crazy!" And of course that is true. But at about 5;15p we had our first guests arrive with their mom and shortly there after everyone one else.
The pens and balloons turned out to be great ice breakers and the gift from S's really good friend. He got S a remote control car. To see 5 boys stand around from all different backgrounds, discussing this car and what to do and how it worked was priceless. They looked like a bunch of teenagers around a real car. They all got to "drive" the car and made sure everyone had a turn. To see 5 boys just click like that when 1 kid knew NO ONE and two brothers only knew their mom and each other was just amazing! We also played a round of musical chairs which was fun because it was a new game for all the boys. My kids played it for the first time last year and the twins were really not into it then, so it was also more or less new to them as well.
For refreshments we had a homemade volcano cake which was a huge hit, complete with pink lava, and popcorn and juice. We rounded out the setting with a plastic Thomas Table cloth thanks to Grandma A. The total cost of the party was probably $10 total. The result, the best party ever! According to 8 kids in Israel. There is a statement we all know that says "fill in blank, is priceless, for everything else there is Visa." Pffftttt....... forget Visa. Its not visa that makes everything else possible, it is mommy ingenuity and Abba know how! And we do it all with out charging interest!
Suffice to say I am still beside myself with how well it went over. Of course now I will be required to do this again in 6 mo. for the twins. They have really only had one proper party when they turned 3 because of different circumstances. Fortunately it kind of has gotten by them. Years one and two are really blurry for them thankfully (because they are for us!) and the year they turned 4 Shmuely had not had a party either. This year they will remember however, soooo I guess in 6 months I will be putting my thinking cap on again. Hopefully a bit earlier.
In retrospect, I find that the things we either do on the cheap or on the fly seem to go over really well. Its a gift and a curse I think. A gift because we have pulled off the impossible more than once doing it this way; and a curse because just imagine what we could do and do it stress free if we planned ahead! Kind of like the kid who does OK in school but would be straight A's if only they would "Apply" themselves. I guess some of us are just lacking that "skill" set.
In the same line of thinking, for S's b-day D and I made him a stuffed dinosaur. We took an old flannel blue pillow case and I "drew" a dinosaur on it and D cut it out and sewed and stuffed it. It is probably the homeliest dinosaur ever, but really cute and he is S's new best buddy. His name is Elazar and he has his own bed and his own toys. The kids love stuffed animals, but this is the first one to get a real name and the royal treatment. Except maybe M's bunny foo. But Bunny Foo is a story for another day. Anyhow, Elazar is a kick and it is just totally cute to see S love this little guy soo much! Once again Eema and Abba ingenuity beat Visa any day of the week!
What we have discovered is, it is not the amount of money, it is the thought and follow through combined with a little creativity. Not only does it break the stereo type trap, but it also gets compliments. In Israel and maybe the U.S., the answer for treats and party favors are sacks of junk food. Whether it is bought as pre-done party gift packs or sandwich bags with 3 different kinds of candy. The two major problems with this are A) My kids are allergic to additives and preservatives. Seriously. Grocery shopping is just a joy.... and B) Its expensive and once its eaten, its gone. All that remains are hyper active bored kids. What kind of stupid combination is that?! I love non-food because it is useful. The pens and balloons were great ice breakers and we got to see everyone's talent. For M's Channukah party this year I did popcorn in sandwich bags with little hair bands to close the bag. It puts a spin on something that might seem boring and its practical. Part of the reason for this choice of treat is the fact that mine can't have processed food and another girl has Celia-cs. It eliminated my usual choice of pretzels. Plus M just switched schools and we now have 9 girls, not 33. So total cost, about $2.00 tops. But I have done larger projects for 33 girls too on about $5.00.(With that one I MADE little books from old wrapping paper, computer paper and ribbon, then took a little candy and crayon and combined it with a hair band. It took 6 hours, but M was the bell of the ball that day!) Thanks to the universal love of cheap "stuff" most party favors can be put together for just a few dollars and have the parents come out rock stars at the same time. And for us that's the name of the game! But the nicest thing is, our kids really appreciate too. And perhaps that's the best part of all.
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