Why do I say that? Because in about 6.5 hours my mom and aunt arrive and that is what I will get, a 12 day vacation! Hurray! Not only will I get help with all the kids, but we will be going up North overnight and next week we will be staying in Jerusalem for a few nights. No cooking, cleaning or laundry and we will have one adult per kid, four when D. is around! I am really excited to see both my mom and aunt just on principal. I have a great time with them both and I am excited for them to see the kids and how much they have all grown. I am also excited for my aunt to get a sense of where we live and our life and what things are like. But I am also really greatful that when they come we get to go out to eat and hotels, etc. This is something we cannot afford and it is nice that they are willing to treat us. It is a very special treat and I know we are fortunate as a lot of people don't get this when their relatives come. The family comes in, takes off on vacation, but doesn't take with them the people they are visiting. Kind of sad, but often those people come to Israel a lot more or see each other a lot more I guess so it is different. But for us we are really lucky, so I am looking forward to my vacation time! In the meantime I am getting all the last minute details ready and the house cleaned! Yikes!
In other news, it seems that a lot of our discussions lately have focused on relationships, marriage and what makes a good marriage and family. I have had discussions where the parents should stay together at all costs, unless there is physical violence goingn on, I have heard another couple who thought that it was important for both parents to work full time so the kids would have a proper work ethic, and then there seems to be the opinion that the more financial stability one has the better everything is and the more intelligent one is. I have my own opinions on what makes a good family and a good marital relationship as well, but what I want to know is why does everyone think that they have the answer for everyone else. I have a lot of friends where the wife is the primary supporter, sometimes it is a good thing and other times the wife would like to be home more with the kids. I also know a lot of people where the wife works just part-time and is happy or not. And I know people who live on a smaller salary so that there is always one parent at home with the kids. I am of course making generic statements and that is my point. Everyone is different and what right do we have to look at someone and say, "Oh you are doing it all wrong and let me tell you why." It is OK to disagree with how someone lives their life and raises their kids, but unless there is abuse or child endangerment, how can someone else tell another person how to live their life and raise their kids. I think what people forget is that often kids adapt to way they are raised because they have to some extent the same personality as their parents. If a parent is very scheduled and organized, then it stands to reason that probably at least one of the kids will naturally fit that personality too. Except for me, according to a friend of ours, I am the "milkman's" child because she felt I never looked like either of my parents. Not true really, but sometimes in my personality and way the my life has gone, she just might be right. But then I deffinitely see some of my parents traits in me, it just happens that what traits are smaller in them are more dominant in me. Anyway, the point is, kids respond to how their parents respond to things. So for a family who is constantly on the go and the kids do well, it is probably because somewhere in them geneticaly they are programmed that way. But take a kid from a family who is on a schedule and dump into chaos and they will fry. They don't have it in them. Neither is the wrong way to raise a kid, it is just two different styles. So why am I on this topic, D.and I live such an off the wall life that most people just can't understand how we do it or why we do it. Now to be fair, this is something I was very reluctant about and yes, I have many moments where I would like to give it up, but at the same time I really can't see how we could live anywhere else either. So it seems that every few months we get comments from the same people about what we are doing wrong and how lonely and sad we are deep down inside and how can we live like that anyway....And then we spend the next few weeks defending ourselves until things settle down again. What I really want to know is why can't people leave well enough alone! I know there is genuine concern, but at the same time we have been having the same conversations for the last 2 years. And then I hear, well you seem down, you seem exasperated a lot, you stay in too much. Well let me tell you folks, you try being pregnant and sick with a very, very busy toddler, then turn that into twins and an even busier toddler and we will see how you do! We are supposed to be able to vent to our friends, but it seems that if I do that, then I have big problems! I have exactly two friends I can vent too who will not blow things out of proportion. I am now to the point I just tell people the simple truth. We have good days and bad days, just like everyone else. And when I really go nuts I have 3 people I can call. D. included. OK enough venting. I have to go clean. 5.5 hours and counting!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Midnight Madness!
Why do I say that? Because it is almost midnight here and I am still up! This would be do a sugar induced rush. Last year our neighbors gave us bed that was half a trundle set. So it was a bed and frame but they were still using the half that tucked underneath. So this week they bought their son a new bed and we were recipients of the other half. This meant staying up past my normal bedtime of say 7:30p-8:00pm. The only way to do this was to indulge on really good hot cocoa and some hershey minis! So now I am up and trying to get myself to go to sleep. But we are really excited about the extra bed. We tend have friends come and stay a lot and it is always good to have extra space. Or we may end up using them for the twins when they get the big bed stage. Which probably won't be so far from now as we put S. in at a year due to the fact that we had just moved here and we did not want to invest in a crib for such a short term situation.
It is hard to believe that the twins are already 8mo. old. They say a rolling stone gathers no moss and that is true because it is smoothe and moves fast. Life however, seems just the opposite. The faster we move, the more moss we gather. The moss being what our life is made up of. Friends, family and experiences. Although each day is a challenge and some of the nights with the twins have been the longest of my life, as an over all time span, it is has gone so quick! It seems like it wasn't so long ago that we were just finding out we were having twins. I am still trying to figure that one out! I call M. my hitchhiker sometimes as the the twins are fraternal which means they came from 2 seperate eggs at two seperate times. Since she is a week developmentaly behind Y. I always say she hitched on or snuck in! Sometimes it seems so normal and natural to have the two of them and other times, I just look at them and say, "where did you come from?!" and I think it would be so easy to just have one more instead of twins. But the truth is, if we had not had twins, it would still be difficult, because it would still seem overwhelming at times to handle two kids because we wouldn't know the difficulty of three. In otherwords, what we have is always our biggest challenge because it is what we know. But it reminds me that it could always be harder.
Anyhow, in our life, the moss has deffinitely gotten thicker this past year. Not just because we have twins and we are learning how to juggle more kids, but also it is the experience of having kids in a foreign country. It has now added to our experiences of living abroad. For example, since we had the twins at home in the Shomron(West Bank) their american birth certificates will say, Karnei Shomron, but they won't say Israel on them, because it is of course disputed "territory." The fact that we even had them at home is a major deal anywhere, but especially here. Israel hates home birth and the paperwork, etc. is a major hassle. But it was great for many reasons, the top ones being 1) I would have had to have a C-section otherwise, as the twins were breach, 2) I did not have to worry about being seperated from S. for several days, something we have never experienced, and 3) The truth is having babies in the hospital either here or the States is kind of worrisome as it seems that so much more can go wrong. I know that sounds nuts, but when you have home birth, the doctor(s) let the mother call the shots more, within reason, and things happen at a more natural and relaxed pace. Plus there is no worry that the doctor will take the child away and do something against parental wishes, vaccinations or bottle feeding when the mother would rather nurse, or not being allowed to sleep with the child in the room, etc.
But I digress. The point is all these little or big things happening to us are magnified for better and worse by living overseas. It is shaping not only who D. and I are, but who our children will become. They will know it is OK to do things outside the box because they have seen it done. Or maybe it will make them want to crawl very far inside the box because they will think their parents are nuts. They just might be right too! The great thing is we have lots of friends in the therapy business, I figure free therapy for all! It will help the kids understand who we are too right?!
And speaking of moss and minight one of our little moss gatherers is awake now. Guess maybe my insomnia is rubbing off on them. Not that they truly know the meaning of sleep through the night! Unlike my little nephew who has slept through the night since day 1! I called my sister and told her I either hate her or my nephew, I am not sure which, but it was unfair that they get a good night's sleep every night! Of course I can't really hate either of them, but still.....So unfair! I just keep counting down until the reinforcements arrive! 5 days and counting!
Goodnight/Day!
It is hard to believe that the twins are already 8mo. old. They say a rolling stone gathers no moss and that is true because it is smoothe and moves fast. Life however, seems just the opposite. The faster we move, the more moss we gather. The moss being what our life is made up of. Friends, family and experiences. Although each day is a challenge and some of the nights with the twins have been the longest of my life, as an over all time span, it is has gone so quick! It seems like it wasn't so long ago that we were just finding out we were having twins. I am still trying to figure that one out! I call M. my hitchhiker sometimes as the the twins are fraternal which means they came from 2 seperate eggs at two seperate times. Since she is a week developmentaly behind Y. I always say she hitched on or snuck in! Sometimes it seems so normal and natural to have the two of them and other times, I just look at them and say, "where did you come from?!" and I think it would be so easy to just have one more instead of twins. But the truth is, if we had not had twins, it would still be difficult, because it would still seem overwhelming at times to handle two kids because we wouldn't know the difficulty of three. In otherwords, what we have is always our biggest challenge because it is what we know. But it reminds me that it could always be harder.
Anyhow, in our life, the moss has deffinitely gotten thicker this past year. Not just because we have twins and we are learning how to juggle more kids, but also it is the experience of having kids in a foreign country. It has now added to our experiences of living abroad. For example, since we had the twins at home in the Shomron(West Bank) their american birth certificates will say, Karnei Shomron, but they won't say Israel on them, because it is of course disputed "territory." The fact that we even had them at home is a major deal anywhere, but especially here. Israel hates home birth and the paperwork, etc. is a major hassle. But it was great for many reasons, the top ones being 1) I would have had to have a C-section otherwise, as the twins were breach, 2) I did not have to worry about being seperated from S. for several days, something we have never experienced, and 3) The truth is having babies in the hospital either here or the States is kind of worrisome as it seems that so much more can go wrong. I know that sounds nuts, but when you have home birth, the doctor(s) let the mother call the shots more, within reason, and things happen at a more natural and relaxed pace. Plus there is no worry that the doctor will take the child away and do something against parental wishes, vaccinations or bottle feeding when the mother would rather nurse, or not being allowed to sleep with the child in the room, etc.
But I digress. The point is all these little or big things happening to us are magnified for better and worse by living overseas. It is shaping not only who D. and I are, but who our children will become. They will know it is OK to do things outside the box because they have seen it done. Or maybe it will make them want to crawl very far inside the box because they will think their parents are nuts. They just might be right too! The great thing is we have lots of friends in the therapy business, I figure free therapy for all! It will help the kids understand who we are too right?!
And speaking of moss and minight one of our little moss gatherers is awake now. Guess maybe my insomnia is rubbing off on them. Not that they truly know the meaning of sleep through the night! Unlike my little nephew who has slept through the night since day 1! I called my sister and told her I either hate her or my nephew, I am not sure which, but it was unfair that they get a good night's sleep every night! Of course I can't really hate either of them, but still.....So unfair! I just keep counting down until the reinforcements arrive! 5 days and counting!
Goodnight/Day!
Monday, January 22, 2007
A Day in the Life of the Jensens......
Yes, I am actually updating my blog! It is 9:13pm and I am awake! This may have something to do with the fact that my mom just sent a big care package complete with Hershey Minatures and York Peppermint Patties amongst a plethora of other "comfort" food. I feel like a kid at Halloween or Templeton the Rat from Charollette's Web when he goes to the carnival. Anyhow needless to say I am enjoy the treats! Although I am trying to pace myself.
Anyway, over the past month or so I have been surprised to find out how many people read my blog and are actually interested in it. I have received most of the comments not on here, but in my personal e-mail. Lately the biggest request is that people want to know what a typical day is for me. So here it goes, I hope I don't bore you!
I am up anywhere between 3:30am and 7:30am depending on how the twins are sleeping. Sometimes I get lucky and go back to sleep somewhere in between there. Usually I am up around 6:00am and if I am lucky I can check my e-mail before I start getting everyone ready so that I can take S to gan. Gan starts at 8:00am, but I have until 9:00am to get him there. I usually get there around 9:10am. It usually takes around 2 hours to get everyone dressed, fed and organized. Then I come home and the immediate goal is to get the twins down for a nap. Y has been a shoe-in lately and is deseperate for a nap around 9:00am, so he is usually easy. Then on a good day he sleeps until about 11:30a or noon. This leaves me and M. If she is cooperating she just hangs out with me while I get chores done. If not, then I spend a majority of the morning holding and nursing her and just trying to get her down. On a good day we hang out and I do dishes, laundry and general housekeeping and chores. On an unproductive day, we just hang out until Y. wakes up and it is time to get S. from gan. Gan ends at 1:20pm. We start getting ready to leave at 1:00pm as it takes me 20min. to get everyone organized and out the door. In warmer weather it doesn't take so long, but with winter it means bundling everyone in hats and coats and socks and slippers........When we get home from gan it is movie time. I usually pop in S's favorite movie of the week and I get the twins settled down and maybe finish some chores or I just hang out with S and watch the movie. He likes it when I do that. After the movie we play, read or whatever, then by 4:00pm I am starting dinner, we eat around 4:30p-5:00p and then by the time dinner is done, it is time to start getting ready for bed and everyone is in bed between 6:30-7:00pm. This includes mommy a lot! It is not often I am up past my kids anymore and I have frequently woken up to find messages on my answering machine because I did not hear the phone ring as I was already asleep!
Although it seems I don't do much with my day, it goes fast! Or really long depending on what kind of a mood everyone is in! Tues. are long in the morning but fast in the evening. Tues. D. comes home at 3:30pm so I spend the morning counting down until he gets home and reinforcements arrive and then it seems as soon as he is home the night is already gone!
Wednesdays are also good days as I get help from 4:00-6:00p from 2 neighbor girls that help me out for free. They voluntarily come and help clean up the house or watch the kids or run errands for me. This is really amazing and I am grateful to them every week for showing up and doing something so kind for absolutely nothing in return. I hope to find a good way to thank them at the end of the year for all their help.
One thing I should add to my schedule is that D. spends Sun night-Tues. in Jerusalem and then Wed. night there too, so the majority of the week I am a single parent. I see him Thurs. 10:00pm-Sun. 6:45am and Tues. 3:30p-Wed. 6:45am. So our time together goes fast and I am in bed early a lot as 1) I am wiped out and 2) I don't have the incentive to stay up since it is just me. Although every now and then I do stay up late, like tonight and do my blog, etc. or I will put in a movie that David doesn't want to see. Although even that is hard to stay awake for!
So that is what a day in the life of the Jensens is like. Not very exciting or exotic. Just life.
Although I am getting very excited as in a week my mom and my Aunt E. will be here for just under 2 weeks! Hurray! Not only do I get help, but this will be a vacation for me as well as we will be staying 1 night up North and 3 nights in Jerusalem. This means, I get free baby sitting and no cooking or cleaning while we are gone! Hurray! The last time I got a vacation is when my mom and dad came same time last year. I am really excited also for my mom to see how big the twins have gotten since she has not seen them since theywere new borns and I am excited for my Aunt E. to see the twins as this will be her first time. And also it has been a year and a half since she saw S. and he has of course changed a lot. I love having everyone come and visit of course because then I don't feel so far away, but then it is hard when everyone leaves as it makes me very home sick. I get used to being away from everyone and just knowing that I am not near them, then I see everyone and it is really hard to be away again. But it is the "nature of the beast" so to speak and part of our choice of living all the way over here in Israel instead of down the street from family. I don't regret our choice to live here, it is just that everything has an upside and a downside, and being away from friends and family is the downside. Especially like two weeks ago when I got really sick and D. had to take time off to run the house while I was sick with the flu and bronchial infection. When my sister was sick she could send A. to grandma and grandpa so he wouldn't get it and she could recover. When I am sick D. takes time off work and we hope no else gets sick. That is another moment in time when I am really sorry we don't live near family.
Since I have not updated things in a while I give quick milestones on the kids and then I am off to bed. It really is past my bed time!
Y. is crawling/scooting and comes to look for me if I am not in the room. He is also quite the little butterball and can where 12mo. clothes, although some are still a bit big on him. He loves food, except oatmeal. But his favorites are cookie biscuits, french fries and bread. He has 2 bottom teeth and is ticklish and loves to watch S.
M. is not crawling or sitting up yet, but she does scoot, mostly backwards and tends to back herself into a corner, literaly and then I have to come rescue her. She is starting to laugh and be ticklish. She also has 2 bottom teeth. And although it is not the same she does like watching S. too. She is getting into food some, her favorites are pudding, yogurt and cookie biscuits. She does eat oatmeal though unlike Y. Although she is hitting most of the same benchmarks as Y. her biggest difference is she is not aggresive in her actions and is more content to watch everything. She is not in a hurry to do things or get anywhere. She is more content to wait for you to come to her. It is interesting seeing the differences in the kids. Male vs. female and just the fact that even though they are the same age, they have very different personalities and capabilities.
S. is learning more hebrew and is starting to speak it at home more. I am still way behind in that dept. The gannenet has finally quit giving us a list of all his faults. I think it helped that we spoke with one of the psychologists in the Education dept. who happens to be our neighbor. Although she is not the person we would normaly speak with, they chose her as she is American and speaks fluent hebrew and english. I think she was able to explain to S.'s gannenet that he is fine for his age and that some of the things she thought were going on weren't. Basically cleared up some miscommunication due to poor language skills on both parts. I think also it was explained to her that he is one of the youngest in his class, so his skills were different then where she thought they should be. Over all everyone is much happier these days and we don't cringe when we have to pick him up from gan now. Much better. In other things, S. loves his siblings and gets concerned when they cry and is excited when they do something new. He is so excited to come and get me when Y. is standing or crawling or doing something else new. He loves to dance for Y. and get a reaction out of him too. He will also pick things up for them if they drop cups, etc. from their chair, etc. He really loves them and it is great to see. He is getting to be such a little man over all it is fun to watch. But exhausting too as he is too smart for his own good, trying to get things out of the oven or cook hotdogs on the stove! We are grateful he has not figured out how to turn the stove on! Although he can light matches. We have them hidden high up now!
OK I am being paged gotta run.
Have a good day!
Alina
Anyway, over the past month or so I have been surprised to find out how many people read my blog and are actually interested in it. I have received most of the comments not on here, but in my personal e-mail. Lately the biggest request is that people want to know what a typical day is for me. So here it goes, I hope I don't bore you!
I am up anywhere between 3:30am and 7:30am depending on how the twins are sleeping. Sometimes I get lucky and go back to sleep somewhere in between there. Usually I am up around 6:00am and if I am lucky I can check my e-mail before I start getting everyone ready so that I can take S to gan. Gan starts at 8:00am, but I have until 9:00am to get him there. I usually get there around 9:10am. It usually takes around 2 hours to get everyone dressed, fed and organized. Then I come home and the immediate goal is to get the twins down for a nap. Y has been a shoe-in lately and is deseperate for a nap around 9:00am, so he is usually easy. Then on a good day he sleeps until about 11:30a or noon. This leaves me and M. If she is cooperating she just hangs out with me while I get chores done. If not, then I spend a majority of the morning holding and nursing her and just trying to get her down. On a good day we hang out and I do dishes, laundry and general housekeeping and chores. On an unproductive day, we just hang out until Y. wakes up and it is time to get S. from gan. Gan ends at 1:20pm. We start getting ready to leave at 1:00pm as it takes me 20min. to get everyone organized and out the door. In warmer weather it doesn't take so long, but with winter it means bundling everyone in hats and coats and socks and slippers........When we get home from gan it is movie time. I usually pop in S's favorite movie of the week and I get the twins settled down and maybe finish some chores or I just hang out with S and watch the movie. He likes it when I do that. After the movie we play, read or whatever, then by 4:00pm I am starting dinner, we eat around 4:30p-5:00p and then by the time dinner is done, it is time to start getting ready for bed and everyone is in bed between 6:30-7:00pm. This includes mommy a lot! It is not often I am up past my kids anymore and I have frequently woken up to find messages on my answering machine because I did not hear the phone ring as I was already asleep!
Although it seems I don't do much with my day, it goes fast! Or really long depending on what kind of a mood everyone is in! Tues. are long in the morning but fast in the evening. Tues. D. comes home at 3:30pm so I spend the morning counting down until he gets home and reinforcements arrive and then it seems as soon as he is home the night is already gone!
Wednesdays are also good days as I get help from 4:00-6:00p from 2 neighbor girls that help me out for free. They voluntarily come and help clean up the house or watch the kids or run errands for me. This is really amazing and I am grateful to them every week for showing up and doing something so kind for absolutely nothing in return. I hope to find a good way to thank them at the end of the year for all their help.
One thing I should add to my schedule is that D. spends Sun night-Tues. in Jerusalem and then Wed. night there too, so the majority of the week I am a single parent. I see him Thurs. 10:00pm-Sun. 6:45am and Tues. 3:30p-Wed. 6:45am. So our time together goes fast and I am in bed early a lot as 1) I am wiped out and 2) I don't have the incentive to stay up since it is just me. Although every now and then I do stay up late, like tonight and do my blog, etc. or I will put in a movie that David doesn't want to see. Although even that is hard to stay awake for!
So that is what a day in the life of the Jensens is like. Not very exciting or exotic. Just life.
Although I am getting very excited as in a week my mom and my Aunt E. will be here for just under 2 weeks! Hurray! Not only do I get help, but this will be a vacation for me as well as we will be staying 1 night up North and 3 nights in Jerusalem. This means, I get free baby sitting and no cooking or cleaning while we are gone! Hurray! The last time I got a vacation is when my mom and dad came same time last year. I am really excited also for my mom to see how big the twins have gotten since she has not seen them since theywere new borns and I am excited for my Aunt E. to see the twins as this will be her first time. And also it has been a year and a half since she saw S. and he has of course changed a lot. I love having everyone come and visit of course because then I don't feel so far away, but then it is hard when everyone leaves as it makes me very home sick. I get used to being away from everyone and just knowing that I am not near them, then I see everyone and it is really hard to be away again. But it is the "nature of the beast" so to speak and part of our choice of living all the way over here in Israel instead of down the street from family. I don't regret our choice to live here, it is just that everything has an upside and a downside, and being away from friends and family is the downside. Especially like two weeks ago when I got really sick and D. had to take time off to run the house while I was sick with the flu and bronchial infection. When my sister was sick she could send A. to grandma and grandpa so he wouldn't get it and she could recover. When I am sick D. takes time off work and we hope no else gets sick. That is another moment in time when I am really sorry we don't live near family.
Since I have not updated things in a while I give quick milestones on the kids and then I am off to bed. It really is past my bed time!
Y. is crawling/scooting and comes to look for me if I am not in the room. He is also quite the little butterball and can where 12mo. clothes, although some are still a bit big on him. He loves food, except oatmeal. But his favorites are cookie biscuits, french fries and bread. He has 2 bottom teeth and is ticklish and loves to watch S.
M. is not crawling or sitting up yet, but she does scoot, mostly backwards and tends to back herself into a corner, literaly and then I have to come rescue her. She is starting to laugh and be ticklish. She also has 2 bottom teeth. And although it is not the same she does like watching S. too. She is getting into food some, her favorites are pudding, yogurt and cookie biscuits. She does eat oatmeal though unlike Y. Although she is hitting most of the same benchmarks as Y. her biggest difference is she is not aggresive in her actions and is more content to watch everything. She is not in a hurry to do things or get anywhere. She is more content to wait for you to come to her. It is interesting seeing the differences in the kids. Male vs. female and just the fact that even though they are the same age, they have very different personalities and capabilities.
S. is learning more hebrew and is starting to speak it at home more. I am still way behind in that dept. The gannenet has finally quit giving us a list of all his faults. I think it helped that we spoke with one of the psychologists in the Education dept. who happens to be our neighbor. Although she is not the person we would normaly speak with, they chose her as she is American and speaks fluent hebrew and english. I think she was able to explain to S.'s gannenet that he is fine for his age and that some of the things she thought were going on weren't. Basically cleared up some miscommunication due to poor language skills on both parts. I think also it was explained to her that he is one of the youngest in his class, so his skills were different then where she thought they should be. Over all everyone is much happier these days and we don't cringe when we have to pick him up from gan now. Much better. In other things, S. loves his siblings and gets concerned when they cry and is excited when they do something new. He is so excited to come and get me when Y. is standing or crawling or doing something else new. He loves to dance for Y. and get a reaction out of him too. He will also pick things up for them if they drop cups, etc. from their chair, etc. He really loves them and it is great to see. He is getting to be such a little man over all it is fun to watch. But exhausting too as he is too smart for his own good, trying to get things out of the oven or cook hotdogs on the stove! We are grateful he has not figured out how to turn the stove on! Although he can light matches. We have them hidden high up now!
OK I am being paged gotta run.
Have a good day!
Alina
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