Today is Erev Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur will start tonight at 4:30 and we will begin a long 25 hour fast asking G-d to forgive us for our shortcomings and think about how to improve ourselves. In theory we, meaning the Jewish people, in general were supposed to start this reflection in the Jewish month of Elul, basically a month of go. However, there is nothing like the last minute to bring things into perspective. Getting established in a foreign country can take a while and just when my husband and I think things are going OK, we hit a snag. It seems perhaps our faith in G-d is being tested. My husband recently started a position in his dream field, I got a job with friends also in an ideal situation. So, what's the problem you ask? Well it turns out it will be a bit longer before my husband receives that first pay check. Because this month is filled with days off from the High Holidays they are waiting until the end of his first full month to distribute pay checks. First snag, second snag arrived when the company I work for was charged a large sum of money by the government rather than receiving the money they owed us. We are getting things straightend out but it makes it hard to cash a check until all is sorted out. But this too like everything else shal pass. But going through things like this is what makes us take things into perspective. I always think it can't get worse and start feeling sorry for myself, until I realize it really could be much worse. We have a wonderful home, with great neighbors, we have running water and electricity. We have food in our cupboards and in our fridge. We already have more than many people. Especially in light of recent natural disasters around the globe. The earthquake in India, Pakistan and Afhganistan killed 35,000+people. More than that are injured and homeless and jobless. The southern United States is still recouping from major hurricanes and flooding and Guatemala just had devistating land slides. And finally on our own home front, we still have thousands that are homeless and jobless thanks to the government expulsion of Gush Katif and 4 West Bank Towns. These people who were supposed to receive compensation 2 years ago have yet to receive a dime. Yes, in light of all that is going on, I realize that I am way ahead of many people. We may not be living large, but Thank G-d I do have a nice home to call mine every night.

In my reflection not only have I started working on the fact that I need to be greatful for what I do have, no matter how little or how much, but also on what I have to offer as a person. Many people we know deal with serious bouts of mental illness. In this day and age it is know as bipolar, deppression, ADD, ADHD, light deporvation illness, etc. The list goes on. I often wonder what it is that leads to all these disorders. Is it our imagination? Has it increased because we are more aware or because we need medication and a label for our feelings of insecurity and our inability to cope in "mainstream" society? I think for each person it is different. I do know it is hard to watch so many people I love battle day after with medication, anxiety, deppression. This doctor, that doctor. I often feel inept and at a loss as to how to help or even how to communicate, just to let them know I care. Sometimes I feel bad I don't have the patience to even try to be there for my friends.

I wonder how to prevent my son from going through this. Can I change his diet? More discipline, less discipline? More attention, less attention? Everyone has a theory. The truth is I don't know that anyone has a sure answer. I have seen people come through Hell to become the best and brightest, I have seen people who were given everything do absolutely nothing. Because I see "mental illness" frequently in so many people I know; it is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. But as of yet I have no answers. I guess as a parent I will just have to focus on today and let tomorrow happen in its own time.

And speaking of parenting today....Yesterday I had the privilege of taking my darling little boy to the doctor. Seems he got worms. No it is not from living in a foreign country or from our house which is kept clean. Seems it comes from eating dirt. This I believe. Our son puts almost everything in his mouth! He has no concept of clean or dirty and moves faster than Superman. I don't know what it is about kids and the need to taste test it all. I think sometimes they even prefer it that way. I have had days where my son refuses to eat, but if he finds it on the floor five minutes later, he will eat it all up! Go figure! But like everything else, this too shal pass and in the scheme of things it could certainly be much worse. I am also comforted to know that this very common. In fact it took the doctor all of 30 seconds to diagnose him. Tell me this guy hasn't seen a few cases of it in his day!

So that is what is going on in our little world today. I hope that for those of you fasting, you will have an easy fast. For those of you who are not Jewish perhaps, today is as good a day as any to count your blessings and take stock of what is really important to you.

For me it is the fact that I have a wonderful son and a husband who loves me and parents who would do anything for me! I am grateful for my parents and my in-laws because although they would rather we not be here, they are still supportive of us. On a side note, I have to say that I love modern technology because I can talk to my parents anytime I want thanks great long distance plans and Voice over IP telephones. Or I can e-mail friends and family and if I get lucky I will an almost instantaneous response. Or at the very least it is just a few days. Just one more thing to be greatful for even though I hate being so dependant on it!

Have a happy new year!