Mile Stones

Ok I am posting two blogs in one day as this one I started awhile ago but then had to put on hold as the kids were too distracting and it got put on the back burner. So I am going to finish it now.

The next few days will bring a lot of milestones with it that I have been thinking about them and what to comment on while it is still relevant and I have time.

The first is of course that the twins will be 1 year old on May 22, this means we have survived our first year as a family of 5! Wow! Never would I expect to be raising 3 kids. It has been a challenge for sure but also a lot of fun and I am proud to say that although, I have my moments of stress, agravation, messy house, etc. I was still able to get out with my kids by myself. Although within the neighborhood I stay pretty much in the house or at the park behind us, I also took my kids on the bus to Jerusalem, Herzilya and Raanana. D. and I also took them places together too. I am really proud of that fact. It is a lot of work, but worth it. I never wanted to be stuck at home because of the kids and thanks to my mom's example, I am not. Even with out a car. Anyway, it is really hard to believe they will be one. It seems they have been here so long that they should be having Bat and Bar Mitzvah's tomorrow! Then on the other hand, it of course has gone by quickly and it is amazing that they will be one tomorrow.

This means of course that S. will be 3.5 soon and is also a milestone. He is not a baby anymore and has not been for some time, but it also means he really is not a toddler either. He really is a big boy and will be in Kita Aleph(first grade) in just two short years! He really is growing up. He wants to help with everything or do it himself. He really can get dressed by himself, although it takes a whole lot of nudging to do and loves to do little things like take garbage out for us. Which is right at the end of the apartment basically.

The fact that the twins will be one year soon, also reminds me that S. was just one year and a few weeks when we arrived in the country. That really blows me away. To see that we have come that far, that our new babies are the same age as when S. arrived. It is just a milestone in and of itself. And that of course leads me to thinking about my family.

This summer it will be two years since I have been back to the States. I have missed a lot by being gone. The biggest is that I have a beautiful little nephew who is a year and a half and I have never met him. I have lots of photos and I hear him talking when I am on the phone with my sister, but it is not the same. And even though I can imagine my sister as a parent I know it will be different to actually see, the last time I saw her she was expecting him. I also have missed the smaller things like family vacations, birthdays, holidays, etc. I really miss those things, even just taking off with my mom and sister to go shopping or over night to the beach. And of course I miss my dad and my aunts and uncle and I miss my friends too. When I left many of my friends did not have kids and now they have children that are also about 1&1/2. It is just a part of my life right now and I am hoping that I will be able to visit in the fall. I think about what it will be like to be back. I remember when I was in Hawaii for 5mo. and in that short time so much had changed and it was weird being back, now after 2+years in a foreign country I imagine it will be quite different. I have been back to visit since we moved here, but it was 6mo. after we moved here and although somethings were different it just did not seem so remarkable. But now I just can't imagine what I will think or feel. But I am excited to see Oregon again and spend some time at the ocean and in the mountains.

On Tuesday we move, this is not just a milestone in that it points out that we have been here long enough to need to move, but because we are making more permanent plans. We came here on a program called Nefesh B'Nefesh and the agreement was that we would stay three years with no plan of returning to America when the three years was up. I look at it as a three and a half year contract. When we left, I did not even know if I would make it the three years. Now we are at two and a half and although we are moving, as an Israeli citizen I am starting to feel more settled in. There are things I would like to have a better handle on, like the language, but in general I feel at least like I really belong in the country on most days. Some days when it is needed I even get asked for my Israeli ID instead of a passport! Yeah! It means they see me as Israeli too! Many people have been asking when we are coming back. To that, my answer is, I am just taking a bit at a time. Right now we know we will be here at least through 2009. To say we are here forever, is too far to think about, but to say we are here short term is not being honest. So we are planning on being here for the long term for now, but we never know what tomorrow will bring.

One thing that is hard to imagine is that the twins have no connection to America. They were not born there, they have never been there and unless we move back there, it will never be their home. They are Israeli and that will be their first nationality. They will of course also be American Citizens too, we just have to turn in the paperwork. It is just that they are Americans by default because we are. I am really not even sure how much attachement S. will have. He has spent the majority of his life here. If we stay permanently the kids will automatically grow up with hebrew and english as away of life. In any case it will be much different than my childhood.

I like the idea that I live overseas for the experience of it, and for giving me a different perspective on the world. I also hope that my kids will gain the perspective that the world is not so big and that there is more out there than just their little corner. There are also the everyday benefits of living here too like being a country where Judaism is the major religion and that our religious holidays are national holidays,etc. I love being here for something and other things I really miss in the States. But that is way it is and every time we leave we take something with us and when we go back there is always something we miss. That is the nature of life. So I am going to enjoy what I have here. And look forward to visiting the things I miss in the States.